GET OVER IT! (Momma guilt, that is!)

In the summer session of the New Mom's group, (in)motherhood, that I co-lead with the fabulous Jessica Hoover we are talking about the importance of finding REST.  Today we are looking at the need to get over our Mama Guilt so that we can rest!

It's nap time... the house is quiet as only by the grace of GOD both children are asleep at the same time. 

After "Hurricane Levi" has gone through

I look around the house and see the crumbs on the floor from where my little man dropped goldfish crackers & stepped on them. I see the MOUNTAIN of clothes that need folded in my bedroom because every time I tried to start folding a child began to cry & need me for something. I see the dirty dishes in the sink. I see the dust bunnies around the floor from our four-legged children (cats). I look out the window and see the field of weeds that have already began to take over my flower beds.

Stress and anxiety start to creep in as I tell myself "I SHOULD BE A BETTER MOTHER!! 

A good mom would be able to keep her house clean, in spite of kids and cats. A better mom would keep up with the dishes as they're being used. A perfect mom has all the clothes folded and neatly put away the SAME DAY she does the laundry. WHY CAN'T I BE THAT PERFECT MOM?!?"

I'm tired. 

I have NO ENERGY to wash the dirty dishes, or fold the laundry, or sweep up the dust bunnies, or weed the flower beds. I need a nap. But the mama-guilt is sneaking in. "I don't have time to sit down and read/watch TV/relax. The house is a mess. If I ever have dreams of becoming that PERFECT mom that I have in my head I better keep up!"

And if I'm TRULY honest... I many times put my "To Do" List over my quiet time with God.

So confession time... show of hands who suffers from "MOMMY GUILT?" C'mon... I know I"m not the only one.  My word of advice: GET OVER IT!  So at this point in my head I'm thinking "Hello Pot, this is kettle... YOU'RE BLACK!"  I know I know.  Practice what you preach.  So how do we GET OVER IT?!?

Wise advice that has been passed down to me:

1. Put time with God first and things will come together - might not be as neatly as you like but God has a way of working things out. Even if it's just reading a quick devotion on your phone, or reading a verse of Scripture in your Bible, do something to take a few minutes to focus on God. He offers tremendous grace and understands the demands our babies have on us. He just asks that as we pour into our children that He can pour Himself into us!

2. You won't be able to function correctly if you're running on empty.  YOU NEED TO RECHARGE.  The dishes will wait.  The laundry isn't going anywhere. Take time for yourself as you can. Try to squeeze in a nap while the kiddos are napping. Take a bubble bath after they go down to bed for the night or those few short hours before the midnight feeding. Schedule a babysitter and meet the girls for coffee or dinner or go out with the hubby! Whatever you need to recharge that is at all feasible DO IT!

3.  Remind yourself over and over again that "cleaning the house with toddlers is like brushing you're teeth while eating Oreos..." it's not going to work very well. Do your best to keep things sanitary and stay a step above a house on HOARDERS and you'll be fine.

4.  Remember that you're children will not be at home forever so you want to cherish the time with them. You're house should not be a museum. Someday when you're empty nesting you'll look around your neat and tidy house and long for the days when there were crumbs everywhere, spilled juice on the floor, and toys scattered about. Enjoy the lived in feel for this short period of time.

5. There is no such thing as the perfect mother. She doesn't exist. That woman who we feel has it all together - doesn't. You don't see the own struggles she goes through to attempt to look like she has it all together.

I wish getting over my own mama guilt is as easy as typing these words. I am working on it little by little. If anything this post is a reminder for myself - but hopefully someone else is being reminded too.

Calling All You Ladies!!

Ladies?!? Are you feeling lonely in the season of life you are in? You need to get yourself over to (in)courage and get yourself into an online community group. (in)courage is an online Christian Community for Women where we can connect, refresh, and enjoy life together as Women in Christ! They have over 70 groups available for all seasons of life! New Moms/ Pastor's Wives/ Empty Nesters/ Infertility/ Depression/ Singleness/ just to name a few!!! Click HERE to peruse the site and find one that is right for you! The Summer Session Registration OPENS TODAY!!!

I myself have the opportunity of co-directing (in)motherhood with the fabulous Jessica Hoover over at Hand Me Down Grace. She & I are passionate about New Moms because... well, that's what we are!!!

 Here's a brief description of our group:
We are a group of new and expectant moms who love to wrap our arms around each other across the miles through encouragement.(in)motherhood is a place for you to kick up tired feet, pour out your heart and have your empty cup refilled by other sisters that understand right where you are at- even if that places is buried under loads of laundry or with a baby (or two)  on your hip. Our hope is that this group will lean hard on Jesus together for the strength and courage to love our families well in the glorious and messy  moments of motherhood. We would love to have you walk with us as we laugh, cry, pray, question and cling to Jesus for the grace to mother each and every day.

I am the mom of the Adorable soon-to-be THREE year old, Levi, AND now the mom of the beautiful little five month old, Kyrie Grace!

What's it like being the mom of two? Eating standing up... NEVER finishing a warm cup of coffee in one sitting... trying to teach a toddler not to pile his toys on top of his sister while she's sleeping in her swing... cleaning up the milk he just spilled on the floor... changing toddler bed sheets AGAIN because someone decided to get naked, jump up & down, & pee on them instead of taking a nap... and taking twice as long to get ready in the morning because something happens like spilling MORE milk or little one gets stuck on her tummy & forgets how to roll over every 30 seconds...SIGH...THIS IS MOTHERHOOD. Your laundry doubles, obviously, but what we still can't figure out after five months is how the ADULT laundry has doubled when we aren't changing our clothes any more often than we did... spit up and all. Yes... that's right... I keep spit up on my clothes all day if I have to!!!  :)

But I wouldn't change it for anything. Even though I'm constantly tired, my house is a wreck, and I'm lucky if I remember to change my clothes in the morning, let alone put on makeup. Motherhood isn't for the weak but we still need to find rest. That is what our Summer session of (in)motherhood is going to be... Finding REST in the midst of the chaos!! We will also be doing an optional book study on Hope for the Weary Mom by Stacey Thacker and Brooke McGothlin! Finding Rest is Biblical - God commanded it of us and even began things off by being the example by resting Himself after He created the world.  

Interested in joining us?!? Sign up here. Interested in another group, hey! That's okay too. Check out the other 70ish groups here. The Summer Session officially kicks off on May 26.

Looking forward to a restful, relaxing Summer with y'all!

XOXO

Focusing on Holy Week

Each MOST Mondays for the next few months (until April 22) I will be posting an encouraging post to my fellow (in)motherhood ladies about Motherhood.  You're welcome to join in as everyone can use some encouragement when it comes to raising kids (or teens or adult kids) - whether they're your own or not!!  

It is Easter week - Holy Week.  I love this time of year.  The season of Lent.  Palm Sunday and the events of the week all leading up to the celebration of Resurrection Sunday.  As one who has previously worked in the church it is a busy week, sometimes hectic, but rewarding if you take the time to get all you can out of it.

My prayer for you this week in the midst of motherhood is that you find time in the center of the chaos to focus on the Biblical events of the week.  Remember the events of Palm Sunday.  Remember the Last Supper.  Remember how Jesus made Himself a servant by washing His own followers' feet.  Remember His arrest, His mock trial, His punishment... for us.  Remember His crucifixion.  Remember His death.  Remember the Victory of His Resurrection!!!!!!  Jesus died on that cross for my sin... for yours... for your kiddo's.  He cherishes your child even more so than you do.

Jesus' prayer to God about His future followers (US!) before He was arrested:

I’m praying not only for them
But also for those who will believe in me
Because of them and their witness about me.
The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind—
Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
So they might be one heart and mind with us.
Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me.
The same glory you gave me, I gave them,
So they’ll be as unified and together as we are—
I in them and you in me.
Then they’ll be mature in this oneness,
And give the godless world evidence
That you’ve sent me and loved them
In the same way you’ve loved me.
John 17:20-23 MSG

Focus on Christ this week.  Put Him first and the rest will fall into place.

Happy Easter!

Five Minute Friday: Remember

FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY: Remember...

Five Minute Friday.... the time where I can ramble on and on and not worry that I sound crazy...

How to Join:

Want to know how Five Minute Friday got started and how to participate? All the details are here.

Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Oh and Ahem, if you would take pity and turn off comment verification, it would make leaving some love on your post that much easier for folks!

OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on:::

Remember…

GO

Photo Credit

One of my favorite Disney movies is The Lion King.  I love the story, I love the music, and I LOVE animals!!  One of my favorite parts of the movie is how the lost, not-so-sure-of-himself Simba is longing for who he is and what he's meant to be in the world.  He knows deep down that what he's doing just isn't quite it.  He runs into the beloved Rafiki (my absolute FAVORITE character in the movie), the old wise monkey who says "I KNOW YOUR FATHER (who had been killed years earlier which is the reason why Simba runs away in the first place).  Simba excitedly follows Rafiki who leads him on a wild chase to the middle of no where, and tells him "Your Father lives in You."  Then from the clouds the great voice of MUFASA comes and says "you have forgotten where you have come from and so then have forgotten me..."  and so on and so forth.  Mufasa reminds him to think of who he is and be who he was created to be (not exactly what he says but reading between the lines you get the gist!).  He says "Remember.... Remember...."

I TOO often forget who I am created to be.  I forget that I am a created child of God.  I forget that I am a princess.  I forget that I was created for something great.  I forget that God is in charge and He cares for me.  I get stressed out about what I"m doing in my life, the direction of my life, certain situations of my life, etc... Sometimes a voice from within my soul comes out (sounding like James Earl Jones, of course) "REMEMBER... REMEMBER"

And I REMEMBER that I am God's.  That's all I need to remember.

STOP

Strength for when you are One Weak Mama!

http://www.incourage.me/incouragers-new-moms

Each MOST Mondays for the next few months (until April 22) I will be posting an encouraging post to my fellow (in)motherhood ladies about Motherhood.  You're welcome to join in as everyone can use some encouragement when it comes to raising kids (or teens or adult kids) - whether they're your own or not!!  Thanks to my good friend, Jessica Hoover over at Hand Me Down Grace for doing last week's as I was drastically under the weather! 

See, I'm getting over a bad cold, pharyngitis acute, to be exact???  I thought I was getting strep throat last weekend.  I had had a sore throat for over 3 days and broke down and went to the doctors.  I have to be deathbed sick to go to the docs, mind you.  Thankfully it wasn't strep but an atypical throat thing that they see this time of year.  I was still put on antibiotics but it took about 3 days for them to kick in and I ended up losing my voice.  Still don't have it back, fully.  I also work in a daycare so I must've picked it up from one of the li'l darlings I work with.  

Photo Credit

It is hard being sick.  No one likes to be sick.  "I want to be sick as a dog, today!"  Said NO ONE EVER.  It's even ten times harder when you have a child because you still have to be "ON" for your little one.  They still need fed, they still need changed, they still crave attention.  My son did not mind that I was hacking around and could barely talk - but he still wanted MOMMY!  I've been in other situations where I was sick and but still had to work - being on a youth getaway and being a youth pastor kind of requires something - but other youth leaders picked up the slack.  There really isn't a lot of people to come help you pick up the slack when you're sick as a mom.  I"m grateful that my parents were able to come and stay with Levi after church so I could go to the Doctor's last week.  I'm grateful for my husband who pitched in and helped with cleaning and laundry and Levi duty while I was getting sick.  But Mommy still doesn't  get "sick days."  (But trust me I know what a blessing that help is because I know not everyone has understanding hubbys OR parents close by!  I count my blessings every day for that!)

The only thing that can get us through those times is God - which gratefully He gave me the strength I needed to get through each day when all I wanted to do was run back to bed and sleep for 48 hours.  The verse that kept coming to mind last week was "Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”  Nehemiah 8:10b

The joy of the Lord IS your strength when:

• you're sick and can really use a Mommy sick day
• you're in the "DESPERATE MOM" moment
• you were up 3-4 times with your sweet babe last night and still have to go to work today
• you're exhausted after a long day of work and do not have the energy to chase a toddler around the house for several hours (countdown to bedtime!!)
• etc., etc.

Cling to God on those days.  He will get you through!  He has carried me so many times before I became a mother and I know He will continue to carry me through now ESPECIALLY because I'm a tired mom.  

"Train up a child..."

http://www.incourage.me/incouragers-new-moms

Each Monday for the next few months (until April 22) I will be posting an encouraging post to my fellow (in)motherhood ladies about Motherhood.  You're welcome to join in as everyone can use some encouragement when it comes to raising kids (or teens or adult kids) - whether they're your own or not!!

One of the biggest stressors for me as a New Mom is wondering if I'm doing the right thing.  Am I feeding my little man the right foods?  Is he getting enough to eat?  Is he drinking enough?  He's always been on the small side - is the Pediatrician going to start worrying about that at his next check up?  Is he getting enough of my time?  Does he have the right toys to stimulate him?  Does he have too much?  Is he getting too much or too little sleep?  Are we doing the right things to keep his pacemaker working right... BLAH BLAH BLAH... The list could go on and on.

There are other important things I worry about too.  I look at the world around me.  I see the news of the horrible things going on in the world.  I see in the media that the morals of this country and world are going down the tubes.  I hear the leaders of our country say one thing and then do another.  My son is growing up in an evil world.  I know the world has always been evil - it's full of sin.  But I worry about what it will be like when he's older.  When he's a teenager, what kind of pressures will be around him?  When he's an adult, what kind of temptations will follow him?  

Looking at the above list I then begin to worry if I'm doing enough to put God in his life.  We read Bible stories together and sing Bible songs.  He has his little class at church and now gets some from the Christian Daycare that I work at and he gets to attend.  We talk about it at home, but again, is it enough?

Thankfully, God lays this verse upon my heart quite often.  I'm sharing it in THE MESSAGE version because I love how it's put:  

Point your kids in the right direction—

    when they’re old they won’t be lost.

Proverbs 22:6

Photo Credit

When it comes down to it that's all we can do.  We as parents are called to do our part.  We are called to teach our children the ways of God and live our lives to reflect that teaching.  That doesn't mean that we will be perfect - thankfully we have a gracious God who works through our mistakes (and He certainly knows I've made enough of them in the short 18+ months I've been a mommy!).  

So today ladies - Point your kids in the right direction!!  Pray over them constantly!  (Read my prayer for my little guy here) Trust in God that they are learning all they need to know.  Trust in Him that you're doing what you need to do.  And trust that when they are old enough to make those tough decisions that they have the background they need to choose God's way!!!

Announcing (in)Motherhood Session 2!

www.incourage.me

I am so excited to announce Session 2 of (in)motherhood, the (in)couragers online community for New (and Expecting!) Moms.  As an excited member of the first session in the fall it is my humble priviledge to now be leading it with the fabulous and adorable Jessica Hoover over at Hand Me Down Grace .  

Motherhood.  Many of us dreamed of the day that someone might call us "Mommy."  We waited and anticipated for years - picking out names before we even had a guy around to call "Daddy."  Dreaming with our sweethearts what future children might be like.  Imagining rocking little ones to sleep while singing them sweet lullibies and gently stroking their precious little faces.  How perfect they would be and how perfect of a Mom we would be.  What a beautiful and magical dream it was....

The Love of My Life

.... and then REALITY STRIKES and you're up for the fourth time that night to feed  a screaming infant after you just fed him "an hour ago!"  You're running late again and have to turn back around to change a dirty diaper after just changing a wet one 10 minutes ago!  And you're so exhausted after being up for the third night in a row with your teething baby that you use orange juice as coffee creamer.  Welcome to Motherhood.

It's beautiful.  It's magical.  It's messy.  And no one can do it alone.  That's where (in)motherhood comes in.  We want to offer you hope and comfort on this crazy roller coaster called "mommyhood."  We want to offer a private place for you to come and share your little one's victories (First Word!), your "Mom Fails," (we've all had 'em!), and your prayer requests of how you're struggling as a mom.  We want to offer shoulders to cry on, offer you chocolate and coffee/tea, and pray circles around you sweet sister!  We also want to help "talk you off of the ledges" like when we convince ourselves that every tiny sniffle is going to lead to bronchitis or pneumonia.  We're here for you.  We've been there.  We ARE there!  We care.  Let's share this journey together!

My Little Man on his 1st Birthday, 7/26/12

Ready to join?  Click here for more info. Not sure if this is the home for you?  Check out all of the other (in)courager community groups here and get yourself connected!  Let's (in)courage one another!

Other Posts for you to get to know me:
Allow me to introduce myself...
Dear Levi
30 Days of Thanksgiving... All at Once!